


Tony starks reasons

by Lunatheravenclaw31



Series: Avengers highschool AU [1]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: All romance in the epilogue, Eating disorder reference, Explanations, Inspired by Peter Parker’s Bully, Peter/Harley is not a focus, Post suicide attempt, Redemption, Self Harm, Sort Of, Sunsets, neither is Pepper/ Tony
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-02
Updated: 2021-03-02
Packaged: 2021-03-15 02:49:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,073
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29801799
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lunatheravenclaw31/pseuds/Lunatheravenclaw31
Summary: The explanation of why Tony did what he did to Peter and what happens after. You should read Peter Parker’s Bully by Tonystarkisaslut if you want this to make sense. I hope you enjoy!
Relationships: Bruce Banner & Tony Stark, Harley Keener/Peter Parker, Ned Leeds & Peter Parker, Pepper Potts/Tony Stark, Peter Parker & Tony Stark, Tony/ others
Series: Avengers highschool AU [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2190537
Comments: 7
Kudos: 7





	Tony starks reasons

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Tonystarkisaslut](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tonystarkisaslut/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Peter Parker's Bully](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19749523) by [Tonystarkisaslut](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tonystarkisaslut/pseuds/Tonystarkisaslut). 



> I know the recovery time is exceptionally fast but just ignore that, I needed it to happen before graduation. I hope you like it!

It took several months of recovery and therapy and he was stuck on a feeding tube for several weeks until he was back to a normal weight. Peter felt fat and disgusting, he knew he was. No matter what aunt May or the nurses said. After April break he was back at school, a few people came up to him and apologized saying how sorry they were that they never stepped in but they didn’t matter, their apologies were empty fueled by guilt.

Bucky had been the worst though. Bucky couldn’t look at Peter but he came up to him and just cried saying how sorry he was that he had given Peter those pills. All Peter could do was just tell him that it was okay that he didn’t blame Bucky, which was true none of this was on Bucky it was all on Tony. 

Tony never said anything after his original apology and visit to the hospital. But Peter noticed that he wasn’t speaking to any of the people he had hung out with anymore and he ate alone at lunch in the library. Peter was glad, Tony deserved to be lonely and feel guilty about everything he had done to Peter. 

The teachers went out of their way to be nice to him and praise him for all of the questions he got right. He was in a lot of classes for juniors and seniors most of them already AP. He was already early graduation, and though his grades had slipped he had maintained an average of a B- throughout the year but it was slowly creeping up to an A. He had already applied to a bunch of colleges. 

He was early acceptance to Columbia and New York University, and a few others but most were not comfortable with accepting someone so young. Things were going better but there were still days when all he could think of was how many calories he had eaten that day or that he needed to feel the cool slice of the blade.

May had however confiscated his knives and all other sharp objects and she did random checks to make sure that he was okay. It wasn’t that it wasn’t appreciated but it hurt a lot that she still didn't trust him even almost two month later. It was fair but it hurt.

Lauren, his therapist, was a very nice woman who would alway make sure that he was safe. Life was fine. Tony was alone and racked with guilt not talking to anyone besides his lab partner Bruce, science was the only class Tony still seemed to attend, skipping all the other ones. Not that Peter noticed of course it was just he had been in a bunch of his classes and now he wasn’t ever there which was definitely a good thing. Very good. Ned and him were building legos together again. Peter mostly didn’t cut, and he never vomited now it had been almost one month since his last time. Though he sometimes still skipped meals it was now mostly because he was so involved in a project or building something not because he was too fat and though there were still bad days life was fine.

Today was one of his better days he was actually wearing a skirt today and though he wore a big sweater it wasn’t to hide anything just to be warm. He was rushing to English when he ran right into someone, both of them dropping their books.

“Fuck sorry I’m so sorry here I’ll just,” Peter froze recognizing the voice, instantly trying to shrink away. The boy knelt down and started to collect Peter’s books net seeming to notice who he had bumped into “I’m so sorry if you get yelled at just tell them you ran into an asshole senior in the hallway.” Just then the tardy bell rang. 

“Fuck, it’s fine,” Peter was collecting books too now putting all of his in one pile and the boys in the other.

The boy turned to look at him finally, “Thanks you don’t have to do-” he cut himself off seeing Peters face, “Peter hi fuck I’m sorry I bye” Tony looked terrified and practically ran grabbing the books Peter had put in a pile and quickly going in the other direction. 

In his hurry he had left a notebook behind and Peter grabbed it. Not intending to read it of course just to give it back to him later. He gathered up his books and rushed into English. His teacher accepted his explanation not even writing him up, and the class passed in a blur. 

When he got home he grabbed the notebook out of his bag and it just you know fell open and Peters curiosity got the best of him. He flipped to the front of the notebook and saw the date September 4th 2016, the first day of school. The day Tony started to torment him.

_September 4 2016_

_Hey diary, I guess I’m gonna write in here now or whatever. But it’s the first day of senior year. Woohoo! Or at least that's what most people are probably thinking Howard hit me last night and I still have the bruises it hurts when I walk. It sucks, Howard sucks. My friends suck. I chose my freshman today, a kid named Peter._

_I’m going to make his life hell. Because of course I am what else would I do with my senior year than bully a 14 year old that wears skirts and space backpacks. God I’m a shitty person. He’s in a bunch of my classes too so I’m going to have easy access. It’s not like I think this is right but I don’t think it's wrong as long as I just make it minor and nothing serious it’ll be fine right? It’s just a right of passage._

_I’m justifying this to myself fucking hell. Bye for now I guess._

_T.S._

Not too serious his ass what's not serious about forcing peter to vomit what’s not serious about forcing him to suck off his friends. Did Tony think that just because Howard hit him it was okay to hit Peter. It was almost like Tony was trying to protect him through the way he was describing his plans. Peter scrolled through the dates Until he found the day that Tony had first made him vomit.

_December 12 2016,_

_Hey diary, I’m a bad person. I know that I’ve come to terms with it. I made Peter choke until he vomited today. I don’t even know why. I just I just did it, what's wrong with me? I know I’m broken. I'm becoming Howard._

_I know he cuts himself now because of me. I saw them on his arms. I did that! I did that to another person. I pushed him that far. How can I stop? Maybe it’s too late now. If I stop I lose my friends and my status but I save a kid._

_I know I’m a bad person. Because I keep bullying him to keep my status. I need help. I know that but I don’t get it. I just hit this poor kid._

_Jarvis got diagnosed with cancer today stage four pancreatic maybe that's why I did it. To force someone else to feel the pain. Howard doesn’t even care; he just kept drinking when he found out, and told me to go and fix his car. At least he won’t have his friends over tonight. They still look at me like its seventh grade and Rhodney wasn’t around._

_T.S._

So he knew what he was doing. He knew and nothing stopped him he was to fucking narcisistic. He does feel bad that Jarvis got diagnosed though. Peter scrolled ahead to the day Tony visited him in the hospital.

_April 7 2016_

_I almost killed him. He almost died because of me. This is all my fault. Peter is in the hospital right now because of me. How could I do this. Why am I such a bad person? I read his note. His aunt made me, I started sobbing not even halfway though and she made me keep going and see what I did to her beautiful Nephew._

_I understand. I would have done the same thing if it had been me. He woke up that morning apparently he took a bunch of sleeping pills. I’m sure it was Barnes, apparently he wouldn’t name his supplier though._

_I hurt such a good kid. I’m going to visit him in a few minutes. I know I don’t deserve forgiveness hell I wouldn’t forgive me. I won’t forgive me._

_I went to visit him. It went well, all things considered. I apologized and he told me to graduate and leave New York. I will. It’s the least I could do for him. I hate myself more than he ever could. I already told all my “friends” to never speak to me again. I only have bruce Rodney and Jarvis now. The cancer progressed though he won’t live long. So I have Bruce and Rodney now. I wouldn’t be surprised if they didn’t want to talk to me though I told them what happened._

_The only good thing that came out of today is that I have a valid excuse to never speak to Peter again. I have a reason to stop bullying him. I’m worse than Howard was at least I never tried that, no matter how many times I’ve cut myself it was never to attempt that. I made someone see no other way out other than death. Do you understand how horrible I am? No you don’t because no matter how much I write here you’re made of paper and don’t talk or feel._

_I need to make it better. I need to fix this. I need to fix myself. I need to help someone. Anyone I need to make things better with Peter with myself with my life. I could control this. Peter will never have to see me again after this year. And even for now I’ll make sure even then it’s as little as possible. No reason for him to see me. I can eat in the library. I can go to the classes without him except science Bruce did text back and say he could help me. So Science, English and Shop. I can do the rest of the work not in class or fail it’s not like it matters._

_I’ll be fine._

_T.S._

Jesus Christ what was this nonsense. Clearly Tony was sorry. It will never be okay, but he was trying. Peter was glad. He flipped ahead to the last written page. Two days ago

_May 13 2016_

_Hey diary. Jarvis um It’s been a month since Jarvis died. God this journal is depressing. I haven’t really been able to do anything since he died. I haven’t even been inventing really. I’m failing most of my classes, because I don’t go and I don’t do the work. People don’t exactly see my butler died and the kid I bullied tried to kill himself as valid excuses. If Howard died they’d care, because that poor boy lost his father. Not like I’d care if that sick old bastard died. I’ve got the scars to prove it. But it's what they did when mom died so I figure they’d do the same for Howard. Bruce is actually helping me cope though. He’s a better person than me and though he was in the group of kids being groomed he left because he’s a good person and I stayed because I wasn’t._

_But he helps me deal with my “anger issues'' and “self hatred” and “clinical depression” all of which are fair but it hurts to be told so bluntly. Rodneys is in his second year of college. He hasn't really talked to me recently probably because he has a life. And I know it’s stupid to be jelous of everyone he hangs out with and him but I can’t help it. He seems to have it made._

_Peter got apologies from a bunch of people and I was definitely right in my guess of Barnes being the dealer because that kid could not stop crying. I haven’t talked to him at all since he doesn’t want me to, but it’s not like I don’t notice things. He gained back a lot of weight which I’m glad for there doesn’t seem to be any new cuts and he seems if not happy at least on the way to it._

_I’m happy for him._

_T.S._

Peter closed the book carefully. It was like he was holding a piece of Tony’s soul. Peter would find him in the library tomorrow at lunch and give it back to him. As much as he hated it Peter felt a little bit bad for Tony he didn’t seem to have a happy home life barely even close. 

“Fuck, should I forgive him? I mean obviously he was in the wrong for most of the year but he’s paying his penance diligently and living practically in his own personal hellscape. It seems likely that Tony might be at a high risk of trying to do what I did. I know I shouldn’t care but I do and it sucks but I’m not going to let it get to that point.” He was only talking to himself but it helped to put his thoughts out there.

I will be a better person than he ever was.

The next day at school Peter blew Ned off saying he had a project to finish in the Library during lunch. He walked up to Tony, placed the notebook on the desk in front of him and pulled out his headphones. 

“I found this, on the floor yesterday I thought you might want it back.” Tony stared up at him with wide eyes. Looking like he might bolt again.

“You,” Tony cleared his throat, “Did you read it?” Tony shifted away from him pulling the notebook to his chest.

“Yes I did. And I need to see your arms Stark.” 

“My arms?” He squeaked out

“I want to be a better person than you ever were to me. So, show. Me. Your. Arms.” Tony was trembling now not even looking at him; he slid the notebook into his bag and slid up his sleeves. Peter let out a small gasp.

His arms were littered with cuts some small some deep not in any order some seemed to just be scratched others cut with a knife. “You don’t have to do anything. I didn’t help you. Just let me do this, I deserve it, please. I don’t have any other way to deal with it. I’m paying back everything I did to you. I deserve this. I know that I do. Don’t try to tell me anything else, just leave me alone. I know it’s probably horrible to see me but you don’t have to. I make that as easy as possible like you said it’s the least I can do.” Tony still wasn’t looking at him. There were tears in his eyes now and he was picking at the cuts. “Can I just go home, please?” He finally looked up; he was actually begging Peter to be allowed to leave.

“No. You are going to follow me. Come.” Tony let out a sob now but collected his things and followed Peter out the door of the school. He couldn’t seem to stop himself from doing what Peter told him.

“Bring me to your car. Now.” Tony nodded miserably and walked over to a black BMW. he dug through his bag as they walked and tossed Peter the keys. Which he failed to catch but picked up. He got into the driver's seat Tony riding shotgun still sniffling glancing at Peter every few seconds.

“Where are we going?” He winced as he spoke. He didn’t deserve to talk to Peter, but he had to know. 

“We’re going to Lovers Lane, and we won’t be disturbed, and you are going to talk to me. And explain to me why you are doing this. And you are going to apologize.”

“Of course Peter.” Tony had never really been able to unsee the emaciated boy in the hospital bed, covered in scars and on a feeding tube; he would do anything to forget it. It was supposed to just be a joke. It wasn’t meant to go this far.

They drove in silence the rest of the way. Until they pulled up at the cliff overlooking the city.

Peter turned to him a hard look in his eyes, no sympathy, just cold removed curiosity. “Now explain.”

“Yes Peter. I- where do you want me to start?” He looked anxious and Peter took pity on him.

“Where it began.” He said with only a bit of an eyeroll.

“Of course I mean I guess it started when my mom died. It was a really bad car crash but Howard, my father, made it. He had been neglectful before but after mom died he got mean. Not only did he not care if I lived or died but he started drinking a lot and he started to hit me. At first it was only his hands, but later it got up to broken bottles and a lamp on the worst night. But he did a lot of stuff and he started making me design things for him to fund the drinking and you know, help out his friends with _stuff_.” Tears clung to his lashes as he stressed the word stuff. Peers eyes widened in realization oh it was worse than he thought. 

“I ended up telling Rhodney my best friend about it and he got the _stuff_ to stop. I don’t know how but Howard never tried it again. The beatings still happened but they got less noticeable, pulse I got a job and I’m saving up to move out as soon as this school year is over. But I started cutting in fuck seventh grade after the crash. I stopped for a bit in ninth and tenth, but once the uh,” He took a deep shuddering breath. “Once the grooming began I started again. Then I continued though less so when I was bullying you.” He winced when he said it knowing how horrible it sounded.

“Why did you lessen it when you bullied me? Why did you choose me?” Peter looked at him inquisitorially.

“I fuck, you deserve to know,” he burred is head in his hands while he said the rest, “It was the power I felt it gave me control control over pain the same way cutting does. When I cut then it was just to feel something more than anger and hurt. I don’t really know why I choose you, I guess I thought at first maybe I could protect you but as you shrunk into yourself I grew. I got this horrible feeling of power and I got a high off of it and I started to chase that high and I got worse and worse until I pushed you over the edge. I chose you because you were an easy target, a boy in skirts with flower crowns you were the easiest pick.” He looked at Peter begging him to understand. It was harder to hate him now but he wouldn’t be forgiven that easily no matter how many parents died and cuts he bled.

Suddenly Tony lunged at him wrapping his arms around his frame. “I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I didn’t mean to become such a monster I’m sorry I know you hate me I know I deserve it I’m sorry.” He was sobbing into Peter's shoulder hugging him repeating sorry over and over until he exhausted himself and Peter removed his arms putting him back into his seat.

_Well that was certainly eye opening._ _Tony Stark a victim who could have guessed? At least Aunt May loves me, I don’t know what I would have done if she had started drinking after Uncle Ben died, if she had blamed him for it._ Peter's thoughts going in a downward spiral. He looked at Tony asleep in the passangers side of his own car with the kid he’d driven to suicide. 

What the fuck was Peter going to do about this.

When Tony woke up he was alone in the car he looked around for Peter and found a sticky note on the dashboard.

**_Went to watch the sunset, don’t leave without me._ **

He looked out the window he must have left recently because the sun was still setting, though it was almost done. He opened the door stretching as he went out into the cool air of twilight. He saw Peter sitting near the edge watching the sun dip further below the skyline. He went to sit on the other side so as to not bother Peter or so that Peter wouldn’t bother him it was hard to tell. But as luck would have it Peter noticed him and patted the spot next to him. “Sit.”

Tony sat. “I need you to listen to me now. And I need you to not speak until I’m done.” Tony nodded unsure if he was supposed to answer that.

“Good. So you had an abusive past and you somehow channelled all that anger into being a bully. You hit me, forced me to vomit, let your friends use me for sexual favors, among other horrible things. And that will damage me for the rest of my life. But I’m not going to bully you and I’m not going to use anything you said against you. But I think I understand why you did it. You wanted to maintain your social status and channel your rage and you wanted to be cool. But you hated the reality you just weren’t strong enough to go against it. I understand and even though I don’t forgive you for what you’ve done I think you can get better and that you can change for the better. That’s all.” Peter looked back out at the sunset.

“Can I stay in contact with you? Please I just you’re a really really nice person and I don’t know many of those, for obvious reasons. I totally one hundred percent understand if not but I just thought I would maybe ask.” Just as the silence was stretching into Tony taking it back Peter said yes because he is a wonderful pure person.

“I still don’t want you to talk to me very much but you can have my information. Additionally I suppose you can stay in New York if you wanted to. You could go to school here and have a job and stuff I don’t want to hold you back from that.” Peter was still staring at the last sliver of sun that was exiting to give the moon room. 

“Thank you Peter. I think that you must be a saint to actually let me do anything and not blackmail me you’re truly a good person.” 

  
  


Epilogue

After that night they parted ways texting occasionally Tony had to take summer school to make up for his poor term three and four grades, but he did well and attended Harvard University. They met up for coffee sometimes having both ended up staying in New York.

Peter was a software engineer programming for Nasa and Tony was a businessman/ inventor who ran his own company. The news called him ‘the new Steve Jobs’. He had gotten happily married to Pepper Potts and had a little girl named Morgan with her.

Peter married his husband Harley who by some coincidence had been working for Tony’s business as his mentee before they met. He was still set for a job there if he ever applied, but he mainly worked as a photographer and writer for the newspaper.

Peter and Tony both went to therapy. Tony weekly and Peter once a month. Though they both still had hard days there were good things now too. Peter eventually forgave Tony (who may have anonymously paid for Peter to go to Yale. But he still didn’t know). They became if not friends then colloquial at the very least.

All in all things worked out really well.

**Author's Note:**

> So what did you think? I’m open to all comments except blatant criticism constructive is welcome though


End file.
